Matt Willis characterizes relapse as a “complete loss of control”.
When he consumes alcohol or narcotics, something in his brain changes, and his only concern is consuming more. “Something else takes over,” he says. “I cannot turn off that switch.”
He then finds himself trapped in an unbreakable cycle of misery and humiliation.
There were instances when he could not make it to noon without becoming intoxicated, and he was taking six grams of cocaine per day. By his twenties, he was entirely dependent on alcohol and drugs.
Matt states that addiction is “exhausting, tiring, and all-consuming.” “There is no easy path out. It’s very difficult and dreadful.”
Fighting Addiction, the Busted frontman discusses his struggles with substance abuse. In it, he also investigates the effect on those around him.
“When I’m in active addiction, I care only about myself,” he says, adding that he becomes “selfish and self-absorbed.”
Matt claims that his addiction has left Emma Willis, his wife, with emotional wounds. I loved her with all my heart, but I couldn’t stop,” he says, “and nothing she could say or do would make me stop.
“Extremely heavy”
Matt and Emma met while the pop-punk band Busted, whose songs include What I Go to School For, Year 3000, and Air Hostess, was performing on MTV.
Emma interviewed the band, and eventually, the couple began dating.
Emma recalls that when they first met, Matt was a lot of joy to be around, but his alcohol and drug problems were evident even before they were married. Just five weeks before their wedding, he was in rehab.
After a difficult adolescence, Matt began drinking in his early teens and has been to rehab four times.
Emma recalls instances when, when he failed to return home at night, she would drive around local bars in an attempt to locate him.
She claims that living with Matt could be unpredictable and stressful, and she feared that he might perish.
“It’s not easy,” Emma says. At times, it has been exceedingly burdensome.
Matt, who has been sober for over five years, characterizes the impact on loved ones as a “forgotten piece of the puzzle” regarding addiction.
“It’s so much bigger than just the addict,” he explains.
Vivienne Evans, chief executive officer of Adfam, a national charity combating the effects of drugs and alcohol on an addict’s wider circle, notes that family and friends of addicts frequently experience stress, abuse, isolation, mental health problems, and financial strain.
She adds that too often, the needs of family members, “the ones bearing the brunt of it all,” are neglected in favor of the needs of those with drug or alcohol problems.
“Many families endure suffering in silence,” she states.
Four million adults in the United Kingdom are coping with the negative effects of a friend or family member’s drinking, while 1.5 million are negatively affected by drug use, according to research conducted by Adfam in 2021.
Matt states that contemplating how his addiction has affected Emma has left him “in pieces” at times.
“She was so intent on keeping me clean that she neglected her care, and I followed suit,” he explains.
Emma and Matt have three children, and when he describes his anxiety about his oldest child viewing the documentary, his voice cracks and his eyes fill with tears.
“It will be incredibly difficult for her to see her father in such a state, as well as what her mother had to endure.
“However, I believe that nothing should be swept under the rug. We must be as transparent and honest as possible.”
‘Fun had gone’
The triumvirate of Matt, James Bourne, and Charlie Simpson from the band Busted achieved four number-one singles, won two Brit Awards, and toured the globe.
But it was while on a tour that Matt’s addiction would frequently become uncontrollable. According to him, it was neither glamorous nor rock ‘n’ roll. “The fun had been gone for a very long time.”
Charlie reflects that he never perceived the “darker undercurrents” of Matt’s addiction. “I had no idea how terrible things were,” he says.
Matt, age 40, claims that conceptions of masculinity prevented him from discussing his emotions and experiences.
“The mentality that all you have to do is man up’ is extremely problematic. These types of sayings have a profound effect on the psyche of growing males.
In September, Busted will resume their tour, but Matt is optimistic that things will be different this time.
“I’ve been extremely forthright with the musicians, and everyone is aware of my situation. Everyone desires to assist.”
His passenger on this tour, for instance, is extremely health-conscious, consuming protein powder, nuts, berries, and protein bars.
Matt, who has participated in therapy, reports that journaling and composing a daily gratitude list have aided his sobriety.
Matt also characterizes music as a means of escape. “Because it’s not very Busted,” he chuckles, “I haven’t written too many songs about addiction until now.” But who knows what will transpire now?
