- Rider’s tragic letter reveals struggle with career-ending spinal injury
- Caroline March, renowned equestrian, details assisted suicide decision
- Eventing community mourns beloved figure’s passing, acknowledges profound struggle
Caroline March detailed in a letter published on her Facebook page upon the announcement of her death on Saturday her efforts to recover from a career-ending injury, which continued to impede her progress. “I do not desire such an existence,” she composed.
In an impassioned letter published after her demise, a horse rider who endured a profound spinal injury divulged the reasons behind her decision to end her life through an apparent assisted suicide.
Caroline March was rendered unconscious in April 2022 following a severe accident during a cross-country competition in Norfolk. The incident resulted in her suffering a fracture and dislocation of two vertebrae.
Following this, the professional rider documented the following on Instagram: “Although my legs remain paralyzed, I can now contract and feel my abdominal muscles, and I have been experiencing intermittent leg twitches, which is extremely encouraging; I’ve been told.”
She wrote in a post weeks later, after her treatment had begun and featured her in a wheelchair shooting a basketball hoop, “Physical therapy has been going extremely well; I’ve been making tremendous strides.”
Four months later, she expressed her struggles on social media: “I cannot be more candid; I am truly struggling. I am shattered; I am not this. I ride for solace, engage in physical activity to clear my mind, and take my dogs for walks; however, all of that has been removed from me.
“This does not appear to be a plea for assistance; I do not believe it to be one. Place my playing cards on the table. Being robust and putting on a brave face while pretending to be okay when, in reality, I am not at all okay is exhausting. I am completely wrecked on every level—physically, cognitively, and emotionally.”
She wrote a year later, “How has it been a year since the worst day of my life? “I wish I could say things are becoming simpler, but they are not.”
Saturday, in a letter published on her Facebook page to announce her death, the 31-year-old from Colchester, Essex, detailed her struggle to recuperate from her career-ending injury but how it continued to impede her progress.
While undergoing intensive physiotherapy and travelling to the United States for experimental treatment, she reported that her injury rendered her incapable of engaging in “anything and everything” that she had previously cherished.
Ms March self-described as an individual who previously flourished on “spontaneity” and “ferocity” and who was also “independent” and a person with a substance use disorder to adrenaline.
However, her quality of life was diminished after the injury.
She wrote that physically, I can’t do anything that defines me in a manner that I find enjoyable.
Ms March also expressed her longing to become a mother, writing, “A family was all I ever desired; I would have immediately sacrificed everything to have one.”
She stated that society’s preoccupation with longevity and the imperative to live one’s life to the fullest had never occurred to her.
She wrote, “A renowned philosopher, Alan Watts, once said, ‘I’d rather have a short life filled with activities I enjoy than a long life spent in turmoil.'”
Assisted suicide has consistently held a place in my heart, and I have consistently expressed that should the unfavourable circumstances arise wherein I am unable to afford the quality of life I desire, I would opt for that course of action.
To be candid, I never envisioned it would materialize, but here we are nonetheless.
“No one can truly comprehend the ordeal I am compelled to endure.”
“I hold those who have recovered from injury and thrived in the highest regard.
I remove my headgear in your direction; you are truly an inspiration, but that is not me.
“I do not desire such an existence,” she composed.
She said, “Over the past few years, I have experienced immense love from so many people; I wish love could fix it or at least make it bearable, but it cannot.”
Ms March has been honoured, as described by Eventing Nation, which describes her as a beloved and well-known figure in the British eventing community due to her ardent personality and passion for the pursuits she held dear, which propelled her to achieve much over three decades.
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British Eventing and the British Eventing Support Trust expressed their condolences in a joint statement regarding the passing of Ms March.
They stated that Eventing is a close-knit community and that Caroline was a successful and well-liked member of the Eventing family.
“Life-altering injuries are profoundly challenging on an individual and societal level, requiring unwavering mental and physical fortitude; how one copes with such injuries varies considerably among individuals. Caroline was cognisant of and appreciative of the assistance extended to BE competitors.
During this sorrow, the BE Support Trust and British Eventing extend their sincere condolences to Caroline’s family and friends.
