According to researchers from the University of Quebec, those who describe experiences using “we-talk” have happier marriages.
We-talk refers to the use of first-person plural pronouns such as ‘we’ and ‘us’ rather than ‘I’ and me.’
The use of “we” by spouses may emphasize a shared identity, or “we-ness,” rather than a separate or individualistic conception of the self in a romantic relationship, according to the researchers.
This “we-ness” may reflect partners’ mutual influence on one another as well as their sense of interconnection.
In the study, the researchers sought to determine the effect of ‘we-talk’ on married couples dealing with a common source of stress – young children.
In their study, published in Personal Relationships, the researchers, led by Catherine Ouellet-Courtois, explained: ‘Raising preschool-aged children is associated with increased marital conflict and decreased marital satisfaction and was therefore considered as a potential stressor for both partners.
The team recruited 77 married couples with children under the age of seven and asked them to rate their marital happiness.
Each partner was then asked to lead a seven-minute discussion on the most challenging aspects of raising young children and how this affected their relationship.
During the discussions, the researchers recorded any pronouns used and whether they were plural (we, our, us, ourselves) or singular (I, me, my, myself) (, me, mine).
The findings showed that couples who engaged in more “we-talk” reported significantly greater marital satisfaction.
“These findings suggest that greater cognitive interdependence, as indicated by we-talk, may protect against declines in marital satisfaction over time,” the team continued.
The study comes after research showed that thinking about your ex can strengthen your current relationship.
Psychologists from the University of Kansas asked volunteers to recall sentimental moments with a former partner.
Those who were able to do so reported an increase in relationship satisfaction and a greater desire to maintain it.
The team also investigated the cause of this by asking the volunteers how much they believe they have evolved since their previous relationship.
The term “ecosystem” refers to a group of people who work in the construction industry.
The researchers theorize that this is due to their increased appreciation for their current partner as a result of this emotion.
